Thoughts from today.

I originally started off writing a different topic for a blog tonight, but I decided to leave that for another time and write about whats on my mind right now.

Today was the last day of the weekly wednesday classes that I have certainly not been a fan of. They are classes for my minor- special education non-teaching. Usually, I love these special ed classes and I get A's in them, but this semester, I have been so frustrated with them. I may get B's in these 2 classes, and that bums me out. I am so glad they are over, and am glad I do not have to take any more classes that I am not interested in, or feel like I will never use!

Jenn, Jess, and I then went to the "senior" picnic. It was so disappointing, we basically missed out on all the free food and senior gifts because we did not get there in time because we were in class. If we didn't have class, I know we would have been there like an hour before it started to make sure we got our free gift! ha. I hate missing out things like that.

I then got home and talked to my Nonni on the phone, and she said Butch (my stepdad) had written me an e-mail. Butch is in China right now for work and had sent me an e-mail to tell me that he couldn't make it to my graduation. My mom had already told me that he probably couldn't make it home in time but I had not heard it from him yet. His e-mail made me cry it was so sweet. I just feel so bad for him that he can't make it home, I know he really wanted to be there. I feel so bad for him because I know he must feel so lonely on the other side of the world from all his family and friends. And I know how much he hates missing out on important moments in his families life. We've been talking and planning for this day for a long time, and I know it sucks to be away and missing out on something that you wish you were at. Not only does Butch have to miss graduation, so does my Me-Maw. She just had surgery and is not physically able to be up and moving around. I really wish they could both make it :(

I also talked to my dad tonight, and I still feel horrible for him. He spent a few days in the hospital in mid February for the stomach flu and diabetes complications, and hasn't got much better. He has not been able to return to work because of his diabetes, and is still having trouble with the ulcers in his esophagus. The doctors said these side effects would be gone in two months but after 2 and 1/2 months, he still hasn't recovered fully. He has a some type of procedure in May to help his esophagus feel better,so I just pray that that helps him get better. Please keep praying for him to return to normal and be healthy!

I don't know whats been up with me lately, but I have just felt so lazy and so disgusted with myself. Like when I get home from school all I want to do is get in bed,get on the computer, and watch tv til bed. I don't know if it's a lack of motivation or if I'm just tired of the same routine and ready to get to the life I know is waiting for me on the other side of 9 days. I have zero motivation for homework and assignments which is a bad thing since these grades now are crucial. This also carries over to my diet. Right now, all I want is the most unhealthy of foods, soft drinks, and more! I get on a diet for about a week, but then slowly start to slip back into my old, bad habits.I keep saying, tomorrow I will stop, and tomorrow I will work out. But, tomorrow comes and I don't feel like it. I want to lose weight and look good for upcoming events, but like I said, mentally, I'm out of motivation. Hopefully soon I will find this motivation and get back on tract and back into a healthy routine.

Wow, this was long, but I'm glad I got all this out, a little blog therapy! :)
Tomorrow will be great. I am going to try and get myself up and moving and make a positive change for these next 9 days!

Thanks for reading,
Kate